ATWT: National Blame Someone Else Day!
Is it that time of the year again? Is it National Blame Someone Else
Day again, already? Doesn’t it feel like we just took down our
Everything You Think is Wrong Day decorations? Where does
the time ago?
Well, at least the good people of Oakdale are certainly full of the holiday
spirit! In alphabetical order, we’ve got:
Alison: In jail, and blaming her situation on her 1) absentee
father, 2) too-controlling mother, 3) Hal, for not overlooking that Ali
put his son in a coma, 4) Emily, for being married to Hal, 5) Aaron, for
being so cute that it made Ali need to start that barn fire, 6) Emma,
for having a stupid barn in the first place, 7) Chris, for not fixing
medical records to prove Alison had a jail-allergy and 8) Lucy. For being
Lucy.
Barbara: Friend-less, child-less, BRO-less and trapped in a forest-cabin.
While she genuinely can blame Craig, Rose, Emily and Henry for her current
predicament, the friend-less, child-less and BRO-less was kind of Barbara’s
own doing. Not that it prevents her from blaming 1) Craig, for preferring
Carly, 2) Paul, for preferring Rose, 3) Hal and Will, for preferring Emily,
or 4) Jennifer, for preferring Asian exile (even with a killer flu on
the loose).
Carly: Jack has filed for divorce. Carly blames 1) Jack. Why can’t
the man understand that they were on a break when she slept with
Mike the night before their wedding? Some people are just so touchy about
their children’s possible paternity....
Dusty: He’s broke and there are goons after him. Dusty blames
1) Alan Greenspan. If only the Internet bubble hadn’t burst...
Henry: He’s got no home of his own, no job he can legally
claim on his tax returns and no love life to speak of. He blames 1) fate.
And 2) Rose, for watching Titanic too many times and following
her namesake’s example, hurling the precious diamond Henry only risked
his life for, like, a million and twelve times, toward the bottom of the
deep, blue sea.
Molly: Her then-boyfriend, Mike, slept with her cousin/best friend,
Carly, and might have gotten her a little bit pregnant. Her current, psuedo-boyfriend,
Dusty, is secretly talking money from Barbara and lusting after Rose.
Molly blames 1) Mary, the nanny who killed Molly’s beloved husband,
Jake, thus forcing her to start dating again which, really, nobody ever
wants to do. And 2) Carly. For being irresistible. And on a break.
Rosanna: She has the man of her dreams, the company of her dreams,
the wedding gown of her dreams, and even a stepdaughter-to-be who thinks
she’s aces. And yet, Rosanna’s life still doesn’t feel
100 percent perfect. She blames 1) Carly. Why? See Lucy being Lucy, above.
To watch all of the above (and more) Oakdalians celebrating Blame
Someone Else Day, make sure to download the April
10 episode of ATWT!
And, to find out how the good people of Springfield are commemorating
this very special holiday, click
here!
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