Let’s keep baseball out of this.

So what is Skeletorama, anyway?

It’s The New Screen Wonder Of The Age!

Right. Seriously, though, what is it?

Well, like so many phony screen gimmicks of the 1950s, it’s really nothing at all. If you insist on something, let’s just say it’s a digitally-shot movie in black-and-white. Incidentally, the early version of the film had it as “Skeletoscope,” but that implies an anamorphic presentation, so it was changed to “-rama,” which is more ambiguous, as well as more 1950s-sounding (a la Cinerama and Panorama).

Is Cadavra Cave really the Bronson Canyon Cave?

Yes, indeedy. Much of the film was shot in the fabled Bronson Canyon, home of countless westerns, serials, sci-fi films, and the like, ranging from such classics as The Searchers and the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers to decidedly less-masterful flicks like Robot Monster and They Saved Hitler's Brain. And of course, it's perhaps best-known as the Batcave in the beloved '60s TV series.

Why is the film in mono?

Two reasons: 1) All the music and sound effects are from the esteemed Valentino Library, and go back decades. They are, of course, in mono. And B) this is supposed to be an el-cheapo film from over 40 years ago; stereo back then was a four-track-magnetic affair, mostly reserved for three-hour-plus road shows with intermissions and all-star casts.

Speaking of Valentino—how did you find this swell retro music?

Larry had purchased an LP sampler of their horror-type music years ago and it stuck in his head. In a good way.

Speaking of Larry Blamire—he’s the star of the film. So why is he billed sixth?

He’s incredibly modest.

Right. And The Matrix really exists.

Hey, you asked.

Jennifer Blaire’s name is just like “Blamire” but without the M. Coincidence?

Naw, they’re married. She just didn’t want to cash in on the world-wide popularity of the Blamire name.

Right. And The Matrix really exists.

You know, you really need to work on that attitude of yours.

We’ll think about it. Did she ever appear in “Cats?”

She gets asked that a lot. The answer is no…but she does have a fondness for tuna.

Is F. Miguel Valenti related to Jack Valenti?

Nope. About all they have in common is that they both work in the motion picture business and they're both nicknamed "Boom-Boom."

How come he has a Spanish first name and an Italian last name?

It has something to do with the night his mom spent in Tijuana...

And what does the "F" stand for?

See above.

Any other cool things we should know about the cast?

Well, Andrew Parks is the son of Larry Parks and Betty Garrett. So far, though, he hasn’t shown any aptitude for Jolson impressions.

We were hoping for something a little juicier.

Fay Masterson was in Eyes Wide Shut.

Kubrick to Blamire. She should have a talk with her agent.

Why, you, I oughta…

Why is Sam Robards thanked in the closing credits?

He was originally going to play Kro-Bar, but then he got offered a role in A.I. For some unknown reason, he took that instead.

Hmm. A Spielberg film. Maybe Fay should have a talk with his agent.

Now cut that out!

The guy who plays Dr. Fleming looks familiar.

Brian Howe? He was also in a recent Spielberg film: he’s one of Tom Hanks’ L.A. FBI partners in Catch Me If You Can. And he and Jennifer were both in The Majestic. Plus, if that ain’t enough, he recently co-starred in the Norm MacDonald sitcom A Minute With Stan Hooper on Fox.
Another cool fact: he recommended Andy Parks to play Kro-bar; he was cast over the phone.

Speaking of voices—the question on everyone’s lips is, how many cast members weren’t using their own accents?

Who asked that? Nobody asked that. Anyway, two. Fay is English and Susan McConnell is Irish.

An international cast! And who is Joey Saccadonuts?

Dan Conroy, who plays Ranger Brad. He’s incredibly modest, too.

Who made the skeleton?

Some medical supply house; we bought it off eBay for $100. It’s plastic held together with bolts. Heavy damn thing, too. Fortunately, it agreed to do its own stunts, so we saved the cost of a stunt skeleton.

And who provided its voice?

Sorry; that’s a deep, dark secret known only to Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward.

Where did you get that great Universal horror-movie music for the trailer?

From Universal. Duh!

How much did Lost Skeleton cost to make?

Umm…let’s just say less than $100,000.

A lot less?

(whistles absently)

Wow, talk about a bare bones production.

(long pause)

I guess you’ve heard that one before.

And the one about using a skeleton crew, too.

Awright, awright! What was the single largest expense?

Believe it or not—the shooting permit for Bronson Canyon.

And how about the shooting schedule?

Ten-and-a-half days—8½ more than Little Shop of Horrors, 299½ less than Eyes Wide Shut. By the time Fay had adjusted, the picture had wrapped.

What was the spaceship made of?

There were three; depending on which size, it was made out of, respectively: an animated Photoshop drawing, a toilet paper roll, and a full size wooden frame (without a top).

What was the glowing atmosphereum meteor made from?

Sea sponge from an art supply store—sculpted, hollowed and painted. The incredibly sophisticated smoldering effect occurred when the pulsing light bulb inside caused it to burn. CGI, eat your heart out!

Did you know we can see the wires when the skeleton “marionette” is operated?

Get out of here!

Really.

No, we mean it—get out of here. Now.

Soon. How many cabins were harmed in the making of this movie?

Three in all, though none were seriously injured in any way. They’re all up at Lake Arrowhead, and it was extremely cold when we shot there.

Why three?

We needed to mix and match two of the cabins for various interiors and exteriors. The fact that they’re completely different from the outside merely adds to the fun.

What about the third one?

We had to sleep somewhere.

How big (or small) was the crew?

Though people came and went at various times, we averaged about six crew members at any given point.

At the end of the film, it says, “Coming Soon—Trail of the Screaming Forehead!” Is that another gag, or is it for real?

Well, we hope it’s for real! The script is completed, and we’d like to start shooting soon. It’ll be a slightly bigger production, in ‘Scope, and we’re trying out a new experimental process called “color.” And it even has a title song! The Skeleton cast will return, augmented by some familiar faces of the era, but it’ll still be the same deadpan blend of smart and silly.

Does that mean Dick Miller will be in it?

We sure hope so!

And will there be a Lost Skeleton Rises Again?

As with any potential sequel, that depends on the public.

Do you intend to spend the rest of your careers spoofing ‘50s B-movies? Seems kinda limited.

Would you ask Woody Allen why he keeps on making movies about angst-ridden New Yorkers?

Yeah, we would.

Fair enough. Anyway, the answer is no. We are currently shooting our second film, Johnny Slade's Greatest Hits, a dark comedy about organized crime and the music industry. We also have two more "straight" pictures in the pipeline. One is Jump Camp, a black comedy-thriller about a ghost town occupied by mental patients, and the other is a film noir about a man with amnesia, titled Edge of the Frame.

Jump Camp? Wasn’t that a play?

Correctamundo. Written by Larry. It’s got quite a cult following in Boston.

Well, anything to keep people’s minds off the Red Sox.

Hey, we told you to keep baseball outta this!

Any parting thoughts on The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra?

To quote the late, great Samuel Goldwyn: we don’t care if it makes a nickel. We just want every man, woman and child in America to see it.