-- George Costanza in "The Marine Biologist"

• Jerry's best friend since high school
• Cheap, dishonest and often jealous of others
• Overweight and bald
• Single and searching for a woman who could accept a man who is bald, is often unemployed and lives with his parents
• Has no problem lying to anyone about anything, which often gets him in hot water
• Might refer to himself as "Art Vandelay", an imaginary character he uses to impress people
• Once wore a wedding band to make himself more attractive to women
• Was forced to buy a book after reading it in the bookstore's bathroom
• Best job was working for the Yankees and George Steinbrenner
• Does questionable things that others might also do, but often gets caught in the act:
• Took a bite from a partially eaten éclair that was sitting in someone's trash
• Peed in the shower in the men's locker room at his health club
• "Double-dipped a chip" (dip a chip, take a bite and insert the second half of the chip into the dip again)