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George is upset because everyone else knew their friend Gary Fogel had cancer. Despite a generous offer of a good deal on parking, George still presses for a secret, and Gary reveals that he wasn't sick after all. Meanwhile, after seeing Elaine's ex-boyfriend promoting his new book on TV, Kramer decides he likes his glasses. Approaching Jake Jarmel about them, Kramer then oversteps his authority and says that Elaine said hello. When George is unable to keep his secret, Jerry is upset since he gave Gary money for a toupee because he thought he was in chemotherapy. Yet, wanting the parking space, George asks him not to do anything rash and, though tempted, Jerry respects his wishes.
As Elaine tracks down Jake to say that she didn't authorize the greeting, Kramer inadvertently interferes with a determined cop's pursuit of a notorious scofflaw. Meanwhile, as George discovers that an old friend didn't really tell Gary to tell him to call her, Elaine gets an idea for revenge when she spots a passerby with glasses like Jake's. But, after selling them to Elaine, his impaired vision causes their former owner to step in front of George's car. As a result off the accident, the scofflaw escapes yet again -- but not before Kramer sees that it's Newman!
Even after learning that Gary used his toupee to pick up a woman he's interested in, George cannot bring himself to jeopardize his parking space. And, convinced that it will help him with women, too, George decides to get a toupee. But at the fitting, Jerry's negative comments upset the sensitive salesman. Then, as Elaine is flaunting her new glasses for Jake, Kramer persuades Newman to turn himself in. Running into her old boss, Elaine offers Lippman the glasses after he admires them. Meanwhile, a judge orders Newman to keep his car in a lot, forcing George to give up the parking space. So, with no reason to keep his secret any longer, he gives Jerry the OK to confront Gary. Finally, Lippman signs Jake to his new publishing company, only to have the deal collapse when the author sees the glasses.